Waking up has so many different aspects to it, but a huge part which is so important to me is freedom.
I was initially attracted to the Universe etc through a book on vibrations and law of attraction but once I opened up more (years later), I became so much more aware of the world around me. This is a very common thing to go through during the waking up process.
So for me freedom comes in many different forms.
-freedom from consumerism. Leading a more simple life style. Decluttering our lives and our homes. Only buying things we love or need rather than because it is a bargain.
-freedom from advertising, manipulating us into thinking we aren't good enough unless we have this bag, this car, or look this way.
-freedom from news/government manipulations. This for me was initially highlighted during our recent Scottish Referendum with severe manipulation on both sides, but media manipulation particularly on one side. News focussing on fear, creating fear within us all to control us.
-freedom from believing I am not good enough unless I fit in. That it's actually ok to be different.... to be me. Because, and here is the funny bit, we all try to fit in! But we are all different and unique and need to learn to embrace our individual and unique skills, not hide them away because they are different from what we think is normal or acceptable to others.
-freedom to believe what I choose to believe, rather than what is popular. That I am capable of achieving whatever I feel drawn to. That anything is possible with trust and faith.
-freedom from thinking we just accept what life throws at us. We control our own lives! Whether we are aware of it or not!
-freedom from the having to go to work in a job we hate to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't even like!
It's like an endless trap. People becoming institutionalised through fear of the unknown.
Finding a job you love or creating your own business is a very amazing place to be.
-freedom to do what makes me happy, to feel joy in things I am passionate about.
I am sure there are more areas we can free ourselves from and I am by no means completely free...... yet. But as a family it is what we are striving to achieve. I want my children to grow up without limitations on what they think they can achieve.
The main thing is that we are aware of our potential and work towards it. We can see there is another way to live. Living life on our own terms and not being afraid to do so.
I recently did a bit of manifesting.
A couple of weeks ago. I just put it out to the universe whilst getting fed up looking at holidays all outwith budget, to find me a perfect holiday. All inclusive (never done that before) sunshine, luxury, local flights, within school holidays and of course within budget.
I then found out our dog couldn't be watched so I decided to leave it for a bit. If it was to work out then it would. If not then it wasn't meant to be. So I never thought anything more about it.
A few days ago my mother in law offered to watch our dog at our house if we still wanted to get away!
So I popped back online for a look and there it was perfect flights, perfect holiday, perfect price!!
I popped along to the travel agent the next day (my birthday) and there were just so many synchronicities once i got there. I really felt like everything was being lined up for me to book the holiday there and then. So I did :)
I felt amazing and so unbelievably happy.
Then came the nagging doubts. Maybe I should have waited? I'm being over indulgent when we could spend the money elsewhere? What if there is a problem with passports? Blah blah blah! What if hubby isn't happy with my choice?
Of course hubby came home, he was panicky because he hadn't been as involved as he likes and felt there was so much to do. Did what he felt was important and then felt a bit happier. Unfortunately by the time he was happier I was on a huge downward spiral. The next day just got worse, I began to worry about safety. We are booked to go to Turkey, there are horrific, tragic and devastating things happening to refugees trying to escape Syria. Then after googling issues like this and safety in Turkey (worst thing to do EVER!) I just got hit with a huge wave of guilt and fear!! What if my children get killed or kidnapped? What if we see refugees desperate for food and we are sitting there with as much food as we want? What if drowned refugee children are washed up on the beach outside our hotel? What if terrorists attack our hotel? What will we do? Could we hide in bushes? But what if the kids are in the pool? What if.. what if.. what if..
It was completely irrational and overwhelming!!!
(and yes this is the ridiculous things I think about when I allow myself to indulge in negative thoughts)
Call it hitting an upper limit, self sabotage, resistance to change, whatever label its given it still boils down to the same thing (usually self worth, do I really deserve a lovely relaxing holiday?) and negative thinking brings you even more negative thoughts.
But what is important now is that I've recognised it and am doing something to change it.
So after a spot of soul searching, watching Abraham Hicks videos on Youtube, some more soul searching I have come to a few conclusions and found a few ideas to help.
Fear or negative feelings are just a sign you are off track, the sooner you can get back on track the easier it is to do so, but you have to change your feelings to positive whatever way you can.
Doing this in small steady steps and starting off being general is the easiest way to achieve this. I went outside into the fresh air, I watched a few of the Abraham Hicks clips, then I started reading lots of positive reviews about the hotel and looked at photos etc - its such a beautiful place. Reminding myself of the beauty of the place.
One other thing I did figure out was that we need contrast to appreciate what we have. For example you can't appreciate the light if it has never been dark, can't appreciate joy if you've never been sad. So we are made aware of this contrast so we can appreciate the good, which in turn makes us feel even better!
However, if we are in an extremely negative state of thought we can feel guilt instead of appreciation.
Guilt is the opposite of appreciation.
When we are shown this contrast, the way we feel will determine if we appreciate this contrast or feel guilty. Since my feelings were extremely negative I felt guilt.
I am working my way slowly through this process. I'm not going to rush it. I'm being gentle with myself whilst I'm at that delicate balance. The tipping point. I'm not trying to push or force myself to think positive thoughts, I'm just not allowing myself to think negatively. I am avoiding the news, starting to feel ready to appreciate things again, simple things like the sun as it shines in my window. I'll take my time and soon I'll feel much more positive.
If any of you have any other ideas or tips then please please share them xx